When one door closes another opens

I have left RB and went to live with some friends. While I was staying with my friends the police came and serve me with the divorce papers that RB gotten from online. This was in June 2009 and the court date was set to September 2009. I had to wait 3 months before we really actually parted ways. During the time we were together I would say the last 4 months I lost a lot of weight and so I continued with losing weight when I moved in with my friends. I was more active than ever was and I was reconnecting with my other friends that I haven't talked to in a long time due to my first marriage. I did try to go out and do the party theme but I was too shy and self-conscious to do it. I decided to stay at home and watch my friend’s kids while they went out. I did go out on 2 dates during this time. I did reconnect with my old boyfriend that I was stupid enough to break up with for RB. So much time has gone by for me and Brandon. He has been married to and he had kids and we just didn't have anything in common no more. After a couple of dates we decided this wasn't right but we decided to stay friends. Well that hasn't happened we only talk here and there but that is ok. I was working and trying to find my own place to live. My 2nd sister has mention that I can come back to NC. I love my family even though we are not close. I just don't see living there because I would feel like they are getting into my business and trying to take control even though I am an adult. So I kindly told her no and thank her for the offer. Well I meet this funny, sweet, cute guy on MySpace. I was writing to friends on there and I posted on there about my upcoming divorce and he IM me with the cutest joke ever and since then we been together. This how I meet my currant husband his name is Tim. We were friends to start with because I really didn't know if I wanted to get into a relationship right now. We bother where married before and we had a lot in common. Tim asked if I would like to come over to his house. He was having a cookout and his family was there so I thought that would be ok. I had a nice time but I kind of shy. I was thinking why this guy is so interested in me I am so out of his league. He was so sweet and nice to me I have never felt this way. I divorced RB a couple of months later by this time me and Tim started going together. We moved in together around November. I am glad we decided to move in together cause at this time Tim's mother passed away she has been sick for a long time. I am glad I got to know Tim's mom in the short time that I got. She was a sweet nice person. I was glad that I moved in with Tim at this time so I could be there for him during this sad time. We became closer each day. He has given me my self-esteem back. I know I have his support and love no matter how bad things gets. I did get pregnant during 2009 at the end and I lost it within a month time. I was so upset because I haven't gotten pregnant with RB only 1 time. I thought something was wrong with me. I was scared to tell Tim but when I did he was so happy. Sadly in December we lost the baby. We got married on April 23, 2010 at the courthouse with some friends and family. I loved it because I was so happy for the first time and I knew what real love was. We are just living our lives. We had a lot of excitement in 2010 like the roof falling onto our home in June thankfully no one was hurt it was raining and storming bad that day. My sweet husband though he was Hercules, he when to stand under the half fallen roof so I can get out. I had to have some type of exploratory surgery in July on my kidney/bladder because I was having issues. My 2nd sister and my great-niece that I haven't seen since she was 6 years old. They came over in July. It was supposed to be both of my sister's but my 1st sister had a family issue. They were supposed to stay over for the day/night so we can spend time together but unfortunately they only got to stay a couple of hours. I love my sister don't get me wrong but most of the time it felt like she was complaining about something I did or how I lived. Really she hasn't seen me in over 7 years and the only thing she can do is try to make me feel like a kid again. I wish we could actually have a good time together and spend more time together as 2 adults. I went to my Gyn/Ob Dr in August for a checkup and he brought it to my attention that I had PCOS. I was never told I had that and I really didn't know what it was and the Dr told me a little about it. He did blood work and gave me Provera that is supposed to help you to have your monthly. I have mine anywhere between 1 and 3 times a year. He also put me on Clomid to try to help me to ovulate so I can try to get pregnant. We were on Clomid for 3 months went up to 100mg, nothing happen I was so upset. Bless Tim's heart he stood by me through all of this and I know it had to hurt him to but he was being strong for me. I decided to go off of it. I was off of Clomid for a year. I was still on Metformin because my regular primary Dr said I was pre diabetes. I have been off and on Metformin for a year because I feel like when I am on it, it doesn’t really work for me. I am going to fast forward here a little because nothing really happened in the beginning of 2011. One of my friends told me about a support group on Facebook for women with pcos. I joined and everyone was talking about soy isoflavones and how it can help some women with pcos get pregnant. I decided what could it hurt so I decided to try it. Was on it for 3 months and I got really sick thought I was having issues with my kidneys again. Went to the Dr around May and the Dr told me I was pregnant. I was in a shock and surprise and so happy at the same time. I don't know if it was soy isoflavones that helped me to get pregnant or it could have been my time we will never know. I was schedule to go to the Dr for an ultrasound at the end of June to check on the progress of the baby's yes I said it I was pregnant with twins. I was having ultrasounds almost every 2 weeks because I was a high risk. When I went in there for the 2nd u/s they couldn't see the second sack where the 2nd baby was supposed to be. They were looking concern it was like someone went in there to erase this little jelly bean from our lives. I was still pregnant because the other baby was inside of me. The Dr told me it was a blighted pregnancy where the baby didn't grow like it should so my body decided to get rid of it I was so sad and so worry about the other baby I had in me still. Let me tell you every time I felt something wrong with my stomach I freaked out. Well my worst dream I could have ever imagined happened. I was cramping really bad in my stomach felt like someone was punching me continuously. Started to bleed a little. Went to the Dr said I am sorry but you’re in the middle of a miscarriage. He sent me home to wait it out saying there's nothing he can do I took a lot of Tylenol cause I was in pain. I was so depressed and I have never seen a man so shaken up like Tim was. I lost the baby on July 6.2011 and I was through with anything regarding a baby. I wanted to get my life in control again and try to get healthy. Every time I see a kid or a baby I would start to cry. I gotten to the point I didn't want to be around any kids at this time. We got through all of this by the grace of god and us having each other. I decided to go back to college. I still to this moment don't know what I want my degree to be in. I am getting an associate’s degree in business right now. My sister wants me to do something in computers but I am leaning more toward something in criminal justice. This really took my mind off the lost and helped me to refocus my mind on what is the most important thing which is my husband and my life. If it happens it will happen again. I got back on Facebook and was surfing through it and I found this wonderful support group for women with pcos. I joined this group and it has been a life savior. My next post will be: Dreams do come true..NOT!!!